The Loertscher 2013 ABC's 
Louisiana Edition

A
Acadians:  Yeah, we didn't know what they were either.  A little jaunt down to south Louisiana last spring cleared it up for us.

Amy:  She just turned 14! And she loves to draw. And cook. And go to seminary.  And play piano and guitar.  And speak French. 

Alligators: Canoeing in a lake full of scaly reptiles is bad enough. But for Bryan, finding a spider in his canoe was even worse.  His screams reverberated around the lake for at least a mile.


Avatar=Awesome: One of our favorite shows.


B
Bryan:  Nine-year-old Bryan most closely identifies with the Pooh character Eeyore.  He's a handsome lad who loves making electronic circuits, lego models, puns and arguing with everyone. He enjoys Cub Scouts (most of the time) and earning Wii turns.

Bayou: Basically a cross between a river and a really big puddle. There are lots of them here in Louisiana.

Beep:  The sound an alarm clock makes, much to the chagrin of the faithful seminary-goers.

Bamboo:  Upon finding a small forest of bamboo, we were pleased to discover these little guys on our trip to south Louisiana this spring.

Bun: (See Elizabeth) Not sure why we still call her this.

C
Co-op/CREDO:  Our home school group. We take sign language, art, science fun, crafts, Shakespeare, and drama. 

Carolyn: Carolyn has become very interested in art this past year, and had decided to either become an art teacher, or work for Disney so she can shake up the animated film industry with her "brilliant" ideas and epic skills. Earnestly she works hard to get caught up on all her school work that piles up while she is off drawing somewhere....she likes running, biking, cute boys, drawing, painting with water colors, and chocolate. Lots of chocolate.

  
Christmas Cookies:  The staple of our Christmas treat plates, but the cookies the kids decorate sometimes don't turn out as planned.
Most of our gingerbread men have morphed into aliens, cyclopes, and Patrick from Sponge Bob, which is strange because we've never seen Sponge Bob.

Chemistry:  David's favorite subject and Carolyn's least favorite.

Chopped:  Recently available on Amazon Prime, this is another of our family's favorite shows.  We love the thrill and excitement it brings on a boring evening. And two-year-old Thomas recently learned to say, "Whose dish is on the chopping block!"  Mom also uses it as a bribe for clothes-folding. Sneaky!

Crawfish:  A famous Cajun dish we haven't tried. Too scary.

D
David: Sort of graduated from high school unexpectedly by getting a good score on the ACT and taking classes full time at Bossier Parrish Community College, home of the noble "Cavaliers."  He is headed to BYU Idaho in January.

Driver's permit: What Carolyn has (finally) received.

Dressing Your Truth:  A program that teaches you what colors and styles you look best in based on your personality and energy.  We have had a good time with this--now even the boys in the family want to know what colors they look best in!!

Deviant Art:  An art website that allows artists from all over the globe to post, share, and receive feedback on their work. Carolyn and Amy are both currently members.

Dog sitting:  The lucrative responsibility of Amy and Carolyn, the two dogs (Roscoe and Cedar) are very well trained and obedient (thank goodness).

Date:  David went on another one.

Discharge Board:  Steve litigated a bunch of these this year to great success, earning some "street cred" with the Captains in the office.


E

Elizabeth: She's a new big sister. She's very cute and a lot of fun. 

Epic fail: Something cool-sounding that we say when somebody messes up. It doesn't really mean anything.

Ear tubes: What both Bun and Thomas have gotten this year.

Electricity: Yes! What Brian and John learn about playing with their Snap Circuits.

F
French:  What Amy, Bryan and Daddy have been studying. Vous-parlez francais? Notre famille parlez un peau, oui.

Fred: The universal family nickname.  What Daddy calls everyone.

Fashion: What Bun is crazy about.  She's very image-conscious, and refuses to wear pants--only skirt will do.  Mommy has finally learned to invest in some leggings.

Firework (see SONOS):  By Katy Perry. What Thomas loves to dance to.

Frostbite: What the teens who have lived in the South for too long think they get every morning for seminary. Oh, and the blessings, too.

Fireplace: We're so desperate for a real, working fireplace that we've resorted to this:  a crackling fire that someone has filmed for an hour and a half, found on Netflix. It's actually sounds pretty authentic, and that's what counts, anyway.

G

Gumbo:  The famed seafood soup of Louisiana that no one has tried yet. Sorry, if you're looking for recommendations, we can't help you! 

Gesundheit:  What we said a lot in December when we got colds and our noses were all stuvved ub.


H
Haunted house: This is what David carefully avoided this year after getting the bejeepers scared out of him last year. He now has a phobia for chain saws, which rules out lumberjack as a career choice.

Hobophobia: Amy is scared of "hobos," not that she's ever met one.  Going downtown makes her nervous.  And she hid in the shoe aisle when mother was approached by one for a handout a months ago in our local Walmart.

I
 Ice cream maker:  We got one for Christmas last year, and used it almost weekly since.  Delicious.

Integrated circuit: Ask Bryan, the local circuit expert. He is a real nerd.

Imagination: What this family has plenty of (or at least imagines that it does).


J
Jimmy: David's awesome friend who lives around the corner. Basically the big brother he never had.  Our younger children love Jimmy almost as much as Jimmy's parents do.





John: The seven-year-old wonder.  He's very excited about getting baptized next year. He's good at math, and loves to dance. An all-around good dude.

JAG:  An Air Force lawyer and what Steve still does to pay the bills around here.  Twelve years and going strong!


K

Kids: We have nine of them now.  We have started splitting them into three groups: The Bigs (David, Carolyn, Amy) the Littles (Elizabeth, Thomas, Samantha) and the Middles (Lauren, Bryan, and John).

Klutz: You can learn some sweet skills from these.  It is possible we own every Klutz book ever published.


L
Lauren: Getting very tall--she'll be 12 soon. She loves to draw and read. And she's a big help with the "littles."



M
Mai Ploy: Sweet chile sauce. Makes any Asian-ish dish taste better. The commissary always seems to be sold out of the stuff.

Manga:  Not sure how Carolyn and Amy got hooked, but it seems they're always reading or drawing Japanese-style comics.  Their dream is to get one published, which if they manage to do they will be set for life since they sell for about $10 a pop.

Mom: Everyone's favorite.

My Little Pony: It's amazing what you can get hooked on just because it's on Netflix.  If you haven't watched it, don't start, whatever you do.

N
Nothing: What there is to write about for this letter.

O
Orange Leaf:  Yummy frozen yogurt place.  I bet you have an "Ounce Back" card in your wallet.

Organ:  What David aspires to play some day.


P
Princess: What Elizabeth wants to be when she grows up.

Pizza: We get "Hot-n-Ready" ones when Rebecca is fed up with the kitchen, or in a hurry, or both.

Piano: David and Amy love to play this thing. And they got to play Vladimir Horowitz' grand piano in a store in Shreveport this year.


Q
Quiet: Not sure what this is. We've heard of it, but haven't heard much of it.

Quarantine:  What we imposed when three of the kids came down with Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease.

R
Red River: A big muddy river we drive over several times a week.

Rebecca:  Very busy this year with home school. Still recovering from new baby Samantha. Very smart. Very cute.

S
Samantha: The newest addition to our family. She's a wonderful baby, and even sleeps sometimes. Will she be the last?



Studio C: Hilarious comedy show on BYU TV.  You've seen it if you know what "Lobster Bisque" is.

Santa: Left the kids some good loot this year.  John is wondering why he uses the same wrapping paper Mom and Dad use.

Speech therapy:  Elizabeth gets this once a week. She's doing better!

SONOS:  This is the cool wireless speaker system we use to broadcast music all over the house.  One of our favorite things of all time.

Seminary:  The three "Bigs" go to this faithfully every weekday. They have been studying the Book of Mormon this year.

Steve:  Turned 41. Ran a half marathon. Got selected for promotion to Lieutenant Colonel.  Did not play golf all year. 


T
Tucson:  Looks like we're moving there next summer! We can't seem to get out of these hot climates, but we're so excited to be somewhere out West where they have mountains.

Tabasco:  We went to the factory where they make this stuff on Avery Island, Louisiana.  Yummy. Spicy. Red.

"Too Baah": Thomas's favorite saying. Roughly translated, it means "Too bad."

U
Ugly monsters: A random exclamation John loves to make. Randomly.

Unity: This is Samantha's middle name. Really.


V
Video games: Whenever you ask Bryan what he likes to do, he says, "Play video games." You'd think that was all he ever does, but in fact the mean parents only let the kids play when they earn a turn by doing school work or jobs around the house. Don't call CPS on us!

W
Why are we writing this?!

Watered down (see Mai Ploy): To accommodate the number of people and the popularity of certain condiments,  Mommy has to sneakily water it down.

X
X-mas: What we don't call the holiday on 25 December.

Y
Yo-yo:  An old school toy the boys find fascinating. Also what a stuttering narcissistic Spanish speaker might say.

Yams: Dad made some really yummy ones at thanksgiving. Here's the trick: boil the yams in water until they're almost soft. Then drain the water and boil them in maple syrup the rest of the way. Drain off the syrup and eat it on pancakes the day after Thanksgiving instead of going shopping. Eat the yams, but not with the pancakes. That would be gross.

Z
Zipper: Invented by Whitcomb L. Judson. We own lots of these.